I followed a link on the Good Men Project (an excellent blog, by the way) talking about how all hearts and minds should be on Odin Lloyd and his family rather than Patriot’ player Aaron Hernandez, and these two stories are in fact related. Both the Steubenville rape trial and the more recent tragedy of Odin Lloyd involve people, in this case men or boys, acting as if they are above the law, as if their wants are more important than other peoples rights.
I can only admire this mother for putting it so very directly to her son about ‘consent’. Not to say there aren’t girls who also need this lesson, but this particular letter is for boys. All parents need to find their own way to make it this unequivocally clear to their sons what is, and what is not, consent.
As an only child, I had no choice but to learn how to enjoy being alone. But today’s scheduled-programmed kids don’t have that incentive, and as a result we parents need to help them learn this skill. Summer is the perfect time to start the process.
Dr. Borba has many excellent suggestions here to begin helping your child or children to entertain themselves. One I never would have thought of? Actually schedule ‘alone free time’ once they’ve gotten some mastery in entertaining themselves.
These 10 ‘myths’ are a bit like the ostrich with his head in the sand, and we’re all at least a little bit guilty of using these as an excuse for the conversations we need to have at the right time for maximum protection and prevention.
This appeal to get our collective heads OUT of the sand is from a NYC District Attorney that has sadly seen too many incidents of child sexual abuse, so she knows what she’s talking about. She’s a’prevention specialist’ and we need to be too!
The reasons you give will have the most affect when they help the child understand how their behavior effects THEM, not someone else. And, even young kids can sniff out far-fetched from reality, so keep it real.
We oldsters used to graduate and get a job- it was that simple. Now it’s not. Our kids have to be VERY resilient when they hit the real world and it’s best they learn how to ‘struggle well’ before they have to do it for real.
These are excellent tips for using life’s everyday bumps and bruises to teach this extremely valuable lesson. Remember, those ‘little’ dissappointments our kids and teens experience are very big to them, which may give us the ‘in’ we need to help them learn from these experiences.
Discipline is hard, and getting it right so it’s actually effective is even tougher. So quirky or not, if it works, it’s a good thing. And while perhaps quirky, these ‘rules’ actually apply solid principles like consistency, so take a look:
Sure, there’s a place for these educational and entertaining devices in our kids lives, but everything in moderation, and now for good reason as the study shows. Substantial numbers of children in this study exhibited addictive behavior and vision deterioration. These devices present ‘play’ in a controlled format, whereas our kids learn most from using their imagination and creative play, and play that develops their motor skills beyond their fingers.
All things to remember when your tempted to hand them your smartphone.
It’s really never to early to begin to teach our kids to present themselves properly– to adults, to other kids, to teachers and other authority figures. And it literally boils down to three very simple things they can easily learn to do.